Dear My Dear Blog

First lets do it my way or i call 'cool'; i'm sorry for abandoning you for quite a time, i left you hanging for several months and left you in such a blank spaces for several monthly archived. So what the hell is wrong? alirght explanation ahead.

Now, lets do it the traditional way; Wah, beberapa bulan blog dianggurin, alhasil 3 bulan berturut-turut arsip blong dan kosong, disayangkan memang, terlalu banyak hal untuk dibagi kadang malah jadi bingung dan gatau harus mulai dari mana, dan kebanyakan 'pembatas' atas eksplorasi diri terhadap suatu postingan lebih parahnya membuat blog ini terasa semakin tenggelam, usang, membosankan dan kaku.

Last, the so cool way; Hello guys! udah lama nih gue gak update blog gara-gara sibuk gituh. Banyak sebenernya materi dan bahan buat dibikin postingan cuma gue gatau kenapa kemaren-kemaren malah jadi berasa males buat ngurus ni anak satu. Entahlah, rasanya ini blog bukan gue banget! Sekilas, kalo liat orang ngeblog post ini itu, cerita ini itu panjang lebar, bisaan banget ya lah gue mau cerita lebar dikit aja susahnya minta ampun, ni otak gue gak ngasih ruang buat gue terbuka, dikit aja gitu. So, gara-gara nya gue jadi lebih aktif dan mencurahkan jiwa rasa di tempat laen, di tumblr gue. So damn hufness tapi ya at least gue comeback!

So, the explanation goes to 'self expression' and 'self boundary'. To do whatever i'm used to do here feels so out of myself. Blogging and being blogger is all about sharing and open some covered part of a human then give it to the world BUT in a concrete and narrative way. But the way i write is the opposite, i am a bloody faker that give story in an obscure writing and made it melancholic and bloody poetic.

Did i make 'blogging' as minimize as i earlier said that blogging is about being clear, to the point and story in narrative. Probably! For the sake of god forgive me for being so small and discriminative about whatever it is i said, but just to be honest i have for like still uncounted but i'm sure its qute many pieces of writing that i worte but they go nowhere but stay safe or imprisoned indise my hard drive within numbers of .txt files and some are on my three note books for real, whatever! im back for good!.

Kenapa Aku Dianaktirikan?

Lately, i've been thinking that my blog is a little bit dull. Its so infertile in publishing new post in every month. And for me, as the one who manages it and the one who takes care of it be honest that for uncertain reason, i'm having trouble in keeping it posted and updated. Ideas are there to be widely displayed in my mind about what's the next post that interest me in sharing it, but yeah it is all about what i have to have first, intention is good as starter but if i never get to it, write it and do it its all nothing! Kemalasan, one bloody obstacle that i'm trying hard to deal with.

I feel really bad for this one, this blog has been one of my virtual homepage that i had made it back alive since few years backward. This blog is so personal and general at the same time. Despite its so quiet here, visitor traffic is nearly dead, any activities is so stricted but Im still favorited this place. These are some reasons that hold me on making this more alive:

1. I have no energy, I'm so limited in sharing things, and I'm so undeniebly moody.
2. I am a worst writer in narrating something in a good, flexible and open way. Directly writing about something right to the point is not my way.
3. I didn't make a friendship here, have no relation and i rarely tell everyone, other bloggers to come and visit.
4. I'm a severe perfectionst and dang picky, when i start writing materials to be published, then i can't stop reviewing it before its even published and once i think its so boring, i stop writing and it got wasted.
5. Difficulity of expressing ideas and what i have in minds.
6. I intend this blog to be public, but i'm still imprisoned in my privacy which limits the outputs.

If compared to what I have been doing lately with other stuff like, tumblr. surely this blog is being clearly and unfairly disfavored. Though they two are different sort of blog but still they were used to be my two faves. But still, both have been places i send out my writings but what makes it distinct is that if tumblr. is purposedly to be the place where literally poetic ones for, in blogging its more like a news post. Its like telling someone "Hey, lets talk about this, i like this because bla bla bla" while there its about telling something but equally hiding it such as: when i think i have crush for someone then i will say "i got stuck my mind on someone".

Kisah Blog Yang Tersesat Di Kuburan

Kali ini saya pengen curhat, tapi bentar! Mau tanya dulu, menurut kalian pembaca blog saya (kalau ada) enak nya itu kalo posting pake bahasa indo penyebutan kata ganti orang nya lo-gue atau saya-kamu-kalian? bingung juga gue, sempet kepikiran hal itu, tapi whatever lah ini kan blog gue, blog saya. haha nevermind!

Alright, tadi kan saya bilang kali ini mau curhat, yap udah lama sejak terakhir posting tentang isi hati, unek - unek ya meski disini di blog saya cuma curhat sekedar hal yang sepele karena emang ini blog tidak dikhususkan untuk sharing isi hati saya, tapi kali ini curhatannya berkaitan dengan blog ini, blog gue tercinta yang mati - matian gue berusaha pertahanin eksistensinya di jagad perbloggan. Jadi gini readers, beberapa saat yang lalu (hari ini tepatnya) saya baca - baca beberapa blog orang, awalnya si gak sengaja muncul di hasil penelusuran google, pas gue buka terus baca postingan nya gue mendadak diem termenung bisu gitu. Alesannya, itu blog orang nya rame banget, banyak komen, pokoknya kalo dibandingin sama blog gue ini ramenya jauh beda banget. Beda nya itu ibarat muka readers sekalian sama telapak kaki reader sekalian, beda kan? haha, intinya kalo di bandingin itu blog mereka rame kaya di trans studio bandung sementara blog gue sunyi, senyap layaknya kuburan. Tragis! Jujur, gue sempet rada envy gitu lah. Malah yang bikin gue makin deep in thought itu, orang - orang para blogger di luar sana pada punya komunitas gitu. Seru kan? sampe ada acara kopi darat segala dengan sesama blogger. 

Gue sendiri sebenernya emang beberapa saat yang lalu sempet ada kepikiran buat join forum blogger, biar seengga nya gue tau kalo gue itu gak ngomong sendiri disni, biar tau ada orang yang dateng meski lewat, apalagi baca tulisan gue. Ya meski cuma tulisan coret - coret cakar hayam tapi juga kan da ada manfaatnya, insalloh. Tapi, ah apa atu da aku mah orang nya suka rada susah, bukan rada tapi sangat susah buat ngemulai sesuatu. Apalagi tentang urusan berinteraksi dengan orang baru, disini di dunia maya aja gue masih aja suka punya perasaan malu gitu. Tapi gue yakin si, ada beberapa orang yang mungkin suka nyempetin dateng kesini, buat sekedar lewat gitu atau mungkin yang tersesat lewat jalan google bisa juga. Karena visitor counter gue juga suka ada peningkatan ya meski cuma tiga atau empat sehari. Ga apa apa saya ikhlas. Mungkin nanti, dalam waktu dekat, saya akan cari komunitas blogger, syukur - syukur yang deket di sekitar rumah saya biar bisa ngerasain juga yang namanya kofi daratan . haha

Oke, sekian curhatannya, termikasih yang sudah datang dan liat - liat. Kalo misal ada yang tau ada komunitas blogger di sekitar tasik atau dimanapun, ajakin saya yah :D

Keep To Oneself

February nearly meets the end, and I still got no love.

I don't really want to talk about this, in this place. Because my blog, this blog, is not for telling you sad stories but its more like a place for happiness, trending topics, hot news, promotion, information, transformation, vacation, place to extend the horizon. But you need to know that this is gonna be an official announcement for all of you, the readers or you who perhaps following me thru this blog or any other social sites (if you guys exist) and to my fans of course (whom surely exist). That's that, I am officially a virtual-social networker retiree. Please, don't cry.

Lets make this short,

I am a terrible 'friend,link,network or any other name of relation' maker, doesn't mean I can't, but it takes so long for me, sometime it takes forever.

I am a self centered person, I'm crazy because sometime i hate people for no reason, i can not openly freely happily disturb people to start chitchat, i do most of the thing alone like i'm in a prison. I'm crazy again, because I call asking for verbal assist from people as 'disturb'.

i hope you understand (if you don't, thats better) of what i said, I'm trying to say that what did i mean by saying that retire thing is, if you found me lost in anywhere you or most people are usually exist and if i went for so long from the circulaton, thats it, I have gone, leave it. Not because of bad reason, but because i fail. I don't wanna blame people for the circumstances that I feel so irritating because thats not the people who turn it irritate but me, im the one the cause of it. I will start by keeping it to myself only.

hey, I don't say i will stop blogging, i say I'm just taking off from 'some other' places (which i can't mention) in the cyberland.

BBM

happy february guys!

its february mid and I'm going to post about 'it' thing, something that everyone might be using it right now, bbm. yap, regard to its latest version which is compatible with ginggerbread android platform everybody seem using it right hell now. But to be honest, swear to neptunus I'm not going to make this as a (direct) promotion, tell everyone to invite me or anything else. My phone is android and its 2.3 gingerbread operated system, indeed it is. And i just installed it few couple days ago and it works.

I was actually never really get so much interest about chatting via bbm, in fact i never had any blackberry phone nor blueberry phone neither, lol. And especially i'm type of self ass-centered person (u can say that) that i can be so darn passive and quiet as cemetery about having some chatting apps, i mean i don't really like saying hai to people that much, if there's nothing matter. So, the moment when they finally released it for android I wasn't that happy and the fact that it was only for jb or higher android i didn't care at all even more. But doesn't also mean that I hate bbm or I commit to not ever use it, because you know what? some people act shits, some bbm user ask everybody in the world like everyone has pin number and they ask "may I have your pin?", when someone did that to me, i was a little pissed off then thinking that i probably had to have it.

And now, i already got my pin but yet I didn't tell it to the world so since it was installed i haven't got any contacts in it. Because i don't know who should i tell first? eventhough my whole close friends've been using it. So, drop it in twitter? or instagram? lame!! or spelling it via facebook status? ewww!! thats not my style anymore! so I guess i will just shut my self up and see, who will ask first, FOR NOW.

#ReasonsWhyILeftFacebook

Di twitter lagi ngetrend #ReasonsWhyILeftFacebook, gue sebagai facebook user juga ikut ikutan ngetweet pake tu hastag, isi tweetnya karena facebook gua gak bisa ganti nama. Setelah gua observasi ternyata banyak banget yang ngtweet  pake hastag gitu . Alasannya karena banyak yang anggota keluarganya ikutan daftar jadi facebook user, ada juga yang gara gara gak tu orang gak mau dirinya ditag in di foto sepatu , whahah kocak yah ?.

Menanggapi hal itu, gue dulu dulu juga emang sempet pernah kepikiran buat left the facebook,alesannya facebook itu penyebar virus galau, whaha tapi gak jadi karena facebook itu bgimanapun awal petama keeksisan gua di jejaring sosial jadi ada terlalu banyak hal hal yang sangat sakral yang menyakut masa masa laluku bersama orang orang yang tiap waktu datang dan pergi, selain itu alasan lainnya karena banyak nya temen temen pada pake facebook semua, sedikit deh yang aktif di twitter. Tapi untuk saat ini gua juga udah mulai ada perubahan dan buat komitmen tersendiri, yakni harus membatas aktifitas artinya cukup lakukan hal hal yang memang wajar dan tinggalkan hal hal gila, konyol dan tak penting. Update status pun diatur jangan tiap menit, artinya keep in touch aja sama temen temen disana, selain itu facebook gue juga punya privasi meskipun privat nya gak gua aktifin tapi gua suka bertingkah kalu ada yang ngetag in foto foto yang amat random dan postingan yang sangat tidak penting.

Loe Lupa Apa ?

Sebenernya gua tipe orang yang gak terlalu sering buat ngumbar sesuatu, bilang bilang ke orang laen mengennai masalah yang sedang gua hadapai, tapi apa salahnya gua ungkapin disini ? toh setelah nengok ke beberapa blog milik orang laen toh mereka juga pada ngungkapin isi hati terhadap suatu kejadian dalam hidup mereka, mau itu senang ato sedih, galau dan sejenisnya .

Nah, buat edisi curhat kali ini gua pengen ngungkapin rasa kesal gua terhadap seseorang, dia temen gua. Ceritanya gua tu pengen minta sesuatu dari dia dan gua juga yakin kalo dia tuh bisa ngasih itu hal yang gua minta, tapi dengan seenaknya dia bilang "ngga bisa", bukannya gua gimana wajar lah kalo misalnya gua rada ngambek, kecewa juga. Yang bikin gua paling kecewa, dulu yah  gua itu dengan baiknya nolongin dia ngasih apa yang dia minta selama gua emang bisa ngasihnya, tapi pas kejadian ini gua jadi mikir "Loe lupa apa ?" lupa akan apa yang gua lakuin buat lo .

Maaf ya mbak :D

Postingan kali ini gua mau dikit cerita cerita ringan, menarik tapi gak penting juga, curhat lahh . Dan untuk edisi curhat kali ini gua pengen cerita tentang pengalaman yang rada memalukan, rada ya jadi gak terlalu memalukan .

Ini cerita beberapa saat yang lalu, masih dalam keadaan bulan suci ramadhan. Namanya bulan ramadhan insyalloh ujung ujungnya akan lebaran alias Idul Fitri, sedangkan Idul Fitri itu identik ama hal hal yang baru - baru, termasuk baju baru, hehe :D . Singkat cerita suatu waktu gua pergi ke sebuah dept. store di daerah gua, ideotnya niat gua tuh mo beli baju baru (anjehh ade gua aja blum beli, hehe :P). Nah stelah nympe langsung deh ke outlet tujuan cari sini sana pilih sana sini, nyobain satu baju langsung fall in love, deal deh ! "Teh yang ini ya", tanda deal gua ke si teteh yang jaga, setelah itu gua di kasih nota buat gua bayar di kasa. Di kasa untung nya gak terlalu ngantri meski yang lalu lalang udah kaya di terminal yang depannya pasar trandisional yang tumpah pula .. huhh ! sempet ada hal gila dan nyebelin pas si pembeli yang depan gua duit nya kurang jadi mesti nunggu dulu dia teriak teriak ke kakanya duit nya kurang, mun gua pasti malu haha. Pas gua giliran bayar, trus ngasih uangnya dikasih kembaliannya, dan di kasih beberapa kupon, sama struk pembeliannya , udah gua ambil aja trus masukin ke kantong sweater . Pas balik ke outlet, dengan bodohnya yang gua kasih malah struk pembelanjaan, eh itu si kaka kaka ama teteh teteh yang jaga kebingungan kaya bayi di tingga ibu nya di prempatan lampu merah .. "tetooot", trus gua baru nyadar , "Oh ia yah, ko gua malah ngasi struk, harus nya kan nota nya yang gua balikin" .. pas gua cek di kantong, di saku celana,, gak ada.. beneran gak ada. sempet balik lagi ke kasa nyariin tu nota yang mungkin jatuh di sekitaran sana sama si kaka kaka yang jaga di outlet, tapi kata si mbak mbak yang ngelayaini gua di kasa "gak ada, udah dikasih semuanya kok", dengan muka suramnya, yang bikin gua "cuiihh" .. pas gitu gua aga panik  gitu, malahan cukup panik . si teteh-teteh ama si kaka kakanya pada diskusi .. "ini gmna ini gmnaa ??" gua makin panik, tapi kan yang penting tu struk ngebuktiin kalo gua udah bayar. Pas gitu si teteh ngasihin baju yang gua udah bayar tadi, gua smpet nanya juga, "Ga apa apa ini teh ?", dijawabnya "iya gak apa apa" dengan nada kecewa .. udah aja, sblum mereka brubah pikiran, langsung dah caw ke parikiran yang kebetulan gua parkirin motor di lantai 3, pas di eskalator gua kepikiran, "apa jangan janga di dompet yah ?" pas gua buka dompetnya "@#$!&%$#... anjehhh nota nya adaaaaa !!" . udah ajah gua gak balik lagi, dari pada malu gua segede gunung balik lagi ngembaliin itu nota . kalo udah kayak gitu, sepertinya gak boleh balik lagi ke sana untuk beberapa waktu kedepan,, takutnya yang jaga masih inget ama wajah gua . whahaha... Maaf ya mbak :D